Men's Mental Health Month: A Father’s Perspective from the Frontlines of Education and Eating Disorders

Shared with permission by Dave Gervais, father and NIED Education Committee Board Member

On December 5, 2021, Dave Gervais walked out of McMaster Children’s Hospital’s ICU with a heavy heart and a professional burden. As a long-time elementary school principal, Dave was used to nurturing children through some of their most formative years. But nothing could have prepared him for the moment he had to leave his own 17-year-old daughter behind in critical care, her body failing from an eating disorder that had taken hold with terrifying speed and silence.

Dave’s daughter had lost much of her muscle mass, including the strength of her heart. Her long strawberry-blond hair had fallen out, and her once-strong athletic frame could barely support itself in bed. As her father, he had watched helplessly as she descended into anorexia nervosa — a mental illness that grips its victims with deadly persistence and is tragically misunderstood.

His daughter’s battle is one story among many, but for Dave, it opened his eyes to how little most of us — even those tasked with caring for children — truly understand about eating disorders and mental health. It also pushed him to speak out, especially now during Men’s Mental Health Month, when stories like his — of a father, an educator, and a man — deserve to be heard.

Breaking the Silence

As a member of the National Initiative for Eating Disorders (NIED) Education Committee, Dave brings more than just professional insight — he brings lived experience. His story reflects the hidden emotional toll that eating disorders take on families, particularly fathers, who are often left out of these deeply emotional conversations.

“I never imagined that someone as driven, disciplined, and accomplished as my daughter could also be so vulnerable,” Dave reflects. “But the very traits that made her successful — her self-control, her focus — were the same ones that her eating disorder hijacked.”

The experience of watching his daughter starve herself, all while waiting for crucial public health interventions, was one of the most powerless and painful periods of his life. At the same time, he had to return each day to school, leading staff and welcoming students with a brave face, despite being emotionally shattered.

From Isolation to Advocacy

What began as a private struggle became a catalyst for broader advocacy. Dave started sharing his story — with his daughter’s permission — and discovered just how widespread and invisible eating disorders are. Colleagues began opening up. One admitted their son was struggling. Another, a fellow educator, shared her own lifelong battle with an eating disorder and called for more mindful language around food in schools.

The depth of the issue became glaringly clear. “It wasn’t just a family problem. It was a school problem. A systemic problem. And it was right in front of us,” Dave says.

The Role of Schools and the Power of Language

In his dual role as father and principal, Dave sees an urgent need for schools to be more proactive and better informed. The rise of disordered eating among youth — particularly since the pandemic — is alarming. Recent data from Hamilton Health Sciences shows eating disorder referrals and hospital admissions have increased by 90% and 50% respectively since 2020.

Dave points to digital culture as a significant contributor. Platforms like TikTok and Snapchat are often not just entertainment for students, but unhealthy comparisons, distorted body ideals, and even dangerous encouragement for restrictive behaviours.

“My daughter told me she found an entire community on TikTok sharing extreme weight loss ‘tips,’” he says. “We need to teach kids to critically engage with these platforms — and we need to teach ourselves, as adults, to understand how they’re affecting our youth.”

Within school walls, Dave urges fellow educators to rethink the way we talk about food. Calling foods “bad” or “junk” and praising students for looking thin can be incredibly harmful. “Food is medicine,” he says — a mantra echoed by professionals and his daughter’s treatment team alike.

A Call to Action for Men

Men are often the silent supporters in families battling eating disorders. But Dave’s story illustrates how crucial their voices are — not just in the home, but in professional settings as well.

“This experience changed how I see my role as a principal, as a father, and as a man,” he says. “Too often, we think mental health conversations aren’t for men, or that we have to be the strong, silent ones. But that silence is deadly.”

For Men's Mental Health Month, Dave encourages other fathers, educators, and male allies to step into the conversation. To be unafraid of asking questions, sharing their experiences, and learning how to support not only their children but also themselves.

Hope and Healing

Today, Dave’s daughter is recovering — a journey that has included deleting harmful apps, supporting peers, and becoming an advocate in her own right. Her resilience continues to inspire her father, who remains steadfast in his mission to change how schools talk about food, self-image, and mental health.

“This disease nearly stole my daughter,” Dave says, “but it also gave us a purpose: to help other families see the signs earlier, to shift how schools approach mental health, and to ensure no child — or parent — feels alone in this fight.”

Men’s Mental Health Month is not only a time to reflect — it’s a time to act. To educate. To speak. And, like Dave, to lead with compassion and courage.